When Robert Vowler, CEO of the Hershey Trust, discovered that talks were underway without anyone consulting the Trust, tensions between the major stakeholders began to rise. No information about this deal was shared with Hershey’s major stakeholder, the Hershey Trust. In another example, the Hershey Company was engaged in talks behind closed doors with Cadbury Schweppes about a possible merger. What Jeff can say is that he did not intend such an effect, and then you can have a discussion regarding the behavior. It’s indisputable, because it is your reality. You could say, “Jeff, when you come late to the meeting, I feel like my time is wasted.” Jeff can’t argue with that statement, because it is a fact of the impact of his behavior on you.
You do know, however, the effect that Jeff’s behavior has on you. You think he has a bad attitude, but you don’t really know what Jeff’s attitude is. For example, say that Jeff always arrives late to all your meetings. When communicating, be sure to focus on behavior and its effects, not on the person. Giving feedback is also a case in which the best intentions can quickly escalate into a conflict situation. Sometimes conflict arises simply out of a small, unintentional communication problem, such as lost e-mails or dealing with people who don’t return phone calls. On the other hand, if the expediting negates the value of the sale, neither party would be in favor of the added expense. It might still make sense to expedite the order if the sale is large enough, in which case both parties would support it. For example, if the company assigns the bonus based on profitability of a sale, not just the dollar amount, the cost of the expediting would be subtracted from the value of the sale. The two will butt heads until the company resolves the conflict by changing the compensation scheme. In this case, the goal might be to eliminate expedited delivery because it adds expense. In contrast, a transportation manager’s compensation may be based on how much money the company saves on transit. As a result, the individual might be tempted to offer customers “freebies” such as expedited delivery in order to make the sale. For example, a sales manager’s bonus may be tied to how many sales are made for the company. Within an organization, incompatible goals often arise because of the different ways department managers are compensated. Sometimes conflict arises when two parties think that their goals are mutually exclusive.